Thursday, December 17, 2009

Find the Red Flags!

Feast your eyes on these snippets from the online dating site I recently joined..Bear in mind, these are the gentlemens' first impression!

NO GAMES! I am a professional African-American MAN (certainly not on the fence, not "metro" or "homo" sexual. I am not consumed by material things, however, I do have a shoe fetish and love nice suits... Is this a possible "homo"phobe or is he just a real "man's man"? And, a shoe fetish *puh-lease, brother.

Throwing it all out, no secrets - married twice, divorced twice. 3 beautiful kids, I have a 9 yr old son and 15 year old daughter from my 1st marriage. I have a soon to be 3 yr old son from my las... Glad that 2nd divorce came through, guy!

Continued favorite things: Levi's 569 Loose Fit Jeans 32x34 (I buy them like they're going out of style, which as far as I'm concerned, never will, I love bidding for them on Ebay, so don't be poachin...Um, seriously?

WELL, SOMEONE WHO ISN'T ON PAROLE FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER, SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T TAKE VALIUM LIKE IT'S A PEZ DISPENSER, AND SOMEONE WHO ISN'T A 'SOONER'! I MEAN, YUK!! In closing, I like someone who kno...The dating pool has just thinned significantly.

Yes, I'm single and Yes, I'm looking. I worship romance and seduction, I can be extremely flirtatious and know how to please, excite and tease. I'm a lover that is a harmonious soul who adores love, I'm also a worshiper of romance & seduction, but I'm gonna sit this one out.

Behold my future:

Keeping the faith I'll one day be someones LaFawnda,
Steph

16 comments:

ScoMan said...

I'm not surprised that you found weirdos in the online dating world. I am surprised how weird these weirdos are.

The first guy.. a man's man with a shoe fetish? I'm sorry, no. If you're a guy with a shoe fetish, you're a metrosexual. That's all there is to it pal.

Cecilia said...

Online dating is HIlarious! You will definitely come across a slew of weirdos, people who won't take a "Sorry, but you live across the country" to leave you alone, acquaintances with benefits, and genuinely nice guys that aren't for you.

On the other hand, my boyfriend and I met online (OKCupid)...and it's been good thus far :)

Keep on keepin' the faith, Steph!

carissajaded said...

Ummm wow. Yeah.. I tried the online dating thing for a while and pretty much just found winners like these. Being single is HARD aint it!?

Veronica Marcetti Dimick said...

Wow. I think I might join a dating site for the blog material alone!! :)

Which one did you join? I have heard some are actually pretty good and don't have junk like that.

MKL said...

Hehehe... more of these please :P

The one who writes "homo" sexual doesn't seem to be very "in" telligent He claims to be a MAN, but I am not too SURE! Hahaha..

Are you kidding us? Did you write that yourself or do people like these really exist? :P

Steph said...

@Scoman: You know I don't want to make fun or embarass- I just wanna share my experience, but I wish I could post that guys pic for a full visual!

People really need to quit throwing the word 'fetish' around, especially when they aren't using it properly. I get visuals I don't want.

@Cecilia: A friend told me just yesterday to try OKCupid, but I can't be whoring myself out all over the net- gonna stick where I'm at :D

Hey, you left out the 70year old men they're kinda too sad to mention though. I wondering if the one who live far are looking for pen pals or something. I'm puzzled by this whole process.

Seems the mis-matches are in the hundreds & it's great the online avenue worked for you! How long have you been together?

@Carissa: You're right, it is hard! You've inspired me to give vlogging another shop! Maybe I can vlog while on a date if anyone ever pans out! OMG greatness :D

@Vanessa: I went with match.com because I have some friends on here and figured if they were using it, it must be semi-ok PLUs after much discussion and hilarity, I figured it would make great blogging material.

Browse around, you can get a good laugh- Just be sure you tell the hubs what you're up to. He may mind this more than your girlfriend :p

@MKL: Yes, these people really exist & I'll be sure to compile the good ones for a future post! In some instances it gets kind of sad because you kinda feel like certain people are really lonely and for that my heart really does go out to them.

michelle said...

wow! i thought my pickin's were slim. although i did have a 40something man "wink" at me. his username was "exotickingdom". that was enough for me to hit the delete

good luck in your quest!

Steph said...

@Michelle: Slim, girl, SLIM! Usernames is a great topic- thanks for the idea. Yesterday I got a wink from 1suaveMF wth LOL

Thanks for stopping by :D

Lille Diane said...

I met my Superman [bf] online. I had to delete a whole lotta frogs before I found my super hero. FYI if you think the gene pool is deviated in your age group... holy pot belly toothless bald bikers...you should see what's available after 50. BUT I say, hang in there. Great things can happen when you least expect it to. My 1st date with Superman was just "ok"... I gave him 2 more tries before I finally saw the red S on his chest. And I don't mean I had sex with him. I mean I saw he was really Superman underneath the Clark Kent exterior. He treats me like a Queen. Your Prince will come, too. And I used Chemistry.com I hated Match.com

Steph said...

@Lille: Hmm, I'm curious why you prefer Chemistry over Match? I guess I should've checked around a bit more...did some research.

As far as age goes, I see the pickin's get slimmer and slimmer as they get older. SHIT! lol

The net seemed to have worked for quite a few. I'm slowly getting bits of hope. Are you ever going to reveal Superman?

Cecilia said...

Oh my goodness...I also forgot about the creepy guys that talked to me only because I'm remotely Asian! I had to make sure my profile said, "NO ASIAN FETISHES!" Gross!

In general tho, I think online dating is similar to going to the bar to meet someone...except you get a bit more information for the most part :)

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. I have a friend who met her fiance on Match. I have another friend who's married with 1 child, and they met on YahooPersonals. Like I said before, keep the faith :)

Amanda said...

Omg, I can't believe people write that.

Had a horrible date tonight myself. How is it that people like this even exist?

Arnetta Green said...

Allow me to break these guys down.

#1 - is insecure with his sexuality

#2 - is damaged goods

#3 - sounds like he would be a good match for guy #1

#4 - didn't really say anything about himself, and probably had the nerve to start listing what he wants in someone else.

#5 - is looking for sex and a superficial romance

and . . . I'm . . . spent!

Steph said...

@Cecilia: Asian fetish!! LOL Hilarious you had to say that

@Amanda: Sorry your date sucked...Are you going to share? ;)

@Arnetta: I love your breakdown. Where are you when I'm searching through these profiles!? We could have some fun, fun!

neocapitalist said...

LMAOOOOO @ THE VIDEO!! love that

Steph said...

@Neo: Everytime I log into this site I hear Kip's voice from Napoleon Dynomite...LOL