These words were spoken by my recently turned 14 year old cousin upon hearing I had a date last night. Odd.
He is 31 and I wasn’t even concerned with his butt. Okay, I did take a quick peek and welp…nada. Jeepers, cousin’s question provided a great pseudonym for this most recent internet dating victim; Saggy Britches!
Fuck. (Pardon the French)
I will start by describing this date by saying the fella is photogenic, in person, not so much; a little too red headed, pale, and fashion challenged. I can’t date another fashionably challenged man. God help me!? I have my hot mess moments, but nuh uh, not again.
For all intents and purposes, he’s a likeable guy, just not romantically/physically my type. I did get some awesome cheese fries out of the deal and decent conversation. The night wasn’t a total wash.
Here’s the doozy though, the good stuff. The-OMG-why’d-you-just-tell-me-that-but-thanks-for- telling-me-that moment.
Let me back up, paint you a picture.
While talking and what not, a woman approaches, introduces herself to me and proceeds to talk to Saggy Britches for awhile. No big deal. She leaves and he tells me they used to date, still no big deal. The big deal came a tad later.
During the course of conversation The Moms come up and naturally, he asked the typical male question to which I answered how interacting with The Vagina makes me queasy, etc. He told me how the woman I’d just met that he used to date likes the ladies. Still, no big deal.
The doozy came when he said something along the lines of, “Yeah, So & So likes to fuck chicks” and how they had three-somes throughout their relationship.