Saturday, February 20, 2010

Just Like Britney, Ooops!

I went back to where I didn’t want to go; the country.

Just what does that mean you ask? Well, there’s this guy, who for all intents and purposes I will refer to as PC, as in Pure Country, and well, he lives in the country, hence the moniker. He’s been in the picture for awhile, becoming a more dominant figure around the holidays, but I’ve opted to keep this to myself.

PC is completely “Mr. Wrong” for a number of reasons, annoying as all heck yet somewhat comical. I vowed I’d stop venturing beyond the city limit sign…

My bestie, The N, said she learned from Sex & the City, PC is the type of guy you let go of for the next girl to enjoy. I would, but I’m greedy.

Here’s how it all went down:

I hadn’t talked to him in a few weeks and had been on some dates with other guys, which made me decide to put dating on hold altogether causing me to think I wasn’t going to date, but rather focus on all the mumbo jumbo I’ve got going on, but naturally I retrogressed. Surely, you already knew this was going to happen.

As I was leaving work, I received a text from PC, a stupid, annoying text that pissed me off, especially since Parking-Lot-Blow-Job had text-ed just a few days prior. I thought, “Why are these jerk-offs bugging me?” And then I thought some more and this is where I fluffed up- PC is a jerk, but a familiar jerk; a sexy, familiar jerk.

Sexting ensued.


I found myself back at his house, sitting on his couch, drinking from the same bottle of wine I’d left over there weeks ago, smoking Marlboro cigarettes and eating pizza, while he was beside me, massaging my feet, watching some crap sitcom and continuously glancing at me, making his stupid disbelief faces because I wasn’t laughing at the show. Oh, I hate his stupid scrunched up faces!

Clearly, separation hadn’t thrown off our typical routine.

11 comments:

jeanhasbeenshopping said...

Can you point me in the direction of the Parking Lot Blow Job blog? ROFL!!

Steph said...

@Jean: I've never officially blogged about the experience, just mentioned it in another post, Double Whammy.

I can email you the run down, but for my The Mom's sake I'm not going to post it :/

ScoMan said...

Even if the guy is kind of a jerk, pizza and bad sitcoms sounds like a good night.

I guess foot massages are kind of good too. I've heard.

S.I.F. said...

Ha! I love fall back guys!

Some times you've just got to do what you've got to do!

Steph said...

@Scoman: It was a good night and foot massages are RAD...One of my favorite things :)

@SIF: I'm glad you see my point! Though, he'd be a lot more awesome if he talked less.

MKL said...

So that's what's up in parking lots all across America, huh? :P

I agree with Sco. But I still don't get, why you didn't laugh at the show. What show was it?

Steph said...

@MKL: I don't know what usually happens in parking lots because I'm not the parking lot type :P

I can't remember the name of the show, but it's the one with Charlie Sheen...There were funny parts I just didn't laugh out loud.

Smart Ass Sara said...

Oh Steph. Well at least you didn't actually have sex. (Right?!?!) Because if you did then he's going to be hanging around. He sounds like a loser. Boo!!

Steph said...

@Sara: I didn't give it up...

yojoeyblogs said...

Wow, I like all of the code names you have for your friends. I am far too lazy for stuff like that.

Amanda said...

If PC looks anything like the guy in the picture, I would say go dust off your effin' cowgirl boots and go for a ride.....makes up for old wine and bad sitcoms anyday :)