Saturday, February 27, 2010

Why Me?

"How old is he? Does he have a cute butt?"

These words were spoken by my recently turned 14 year old cousin upon hearing I had a date last night. Odd.

He is 31 and I wasn’t even concerned with his butt. Okay, I did take a quick peek and welp…nada. Jeepers, cousin’s question provided a great pseudonym for this most recent internet dating victim; Saggy Britches!

Fuck. (Pardon the French)

I will start by describing this date by saying the fella is photogenic, in person, not so much; a little too red headed, pale, and fashion challenged. I can’t date another fashionably challenged man. God help me!? I have my hot mess moments, but nuh uh, not again.

For all intents and purposes, he’s a likeable guy, just not romantically/physically my type. I did get some awesome cheese fries out of the deal and decent conversation. The night wasn’t a total wash.

Here’s the doozy though, the good stuff. The-OMG-why’d-you-just-tell-me-that-but-thanks-for- telling-me-that moment.

Let me back up, paint you a picture.

While talking and what not, a woman approaches, introduces herself to me and proceeds to talk to Saggy Britches for awhile. No big deal. She leaves and he tells me they used to date, still no big deal. The big deal came a tad later.

During the course of conversation The Moms come up and naturally, he asked the typical male question to which I answered how interacting with The Vagina makes me queasy, etc. He told me how the woman I’d just met that he used to date likes the ladies. Still, no big deal.

The doozy came when he said something along the lines of, “Yeah, So & So likes to fuck chicks” and how they had three-somes throughout their relationship.

The End!



OmegaRadium said...


Steph said...

That's what I said LOL

Lauren said...

I hope you said TMI! haha

michelle said...

oooh my. awkward

Steph said...

@Lauren: I wasn't too on the ball after that revelation. Seriously, who makes such a statement on a first date. :)

@Michelle: In his defense, I guess it's best he throw the info out sooner rather than later. haha

Smart Ass Sara said...

Oh my god- I'm not sure if it's more amazing that he even has sex or that he's been in 3somes.

Steph said...

@Sara: And, the woman was quite attractive!

Anonymous said...

Buh-bye, saggy britches. Just a tad odd, him blurting that out. Imagine what he held back. ???

Christina In Wonderland said...

That is very TMI... especially on a first date. But maybe honesty is kind of a good thing... or bad thing... or creepy thing. *shrug* Who knows?

ScoMan said...

In a football locker room if he made that statement, he could understand to be the receipting of a lot of high fiving and back slapping.

At least, that's my understanding of football locker rooms.

Also, is back slapping even a thing?

Anyway, my point is in an all male area, he would expect a positive reaction to that statement.

On a first date, I'm not sure what reaction he was looking for.

Veronica Marcetti Dimick said...

Don't let the fashion victims worry you so much. That is the easiest thing to change about a man, and they usually appreciate the help! (Not that he sounded so stellar other than that, but ...)

S.I.F. said...

How is that ever something to talk about on a first date??? Seriously!

Alissa said...

Glad to know I am not the only one who has experienced unusual first date conversations. Oh, and Saggy Britches - loved it!

Christina In Wonderland said...

Because I love you, I gave you an award. Ha.

Christina In Wonderland

Amanda West said...


Some people just don't have a social filter.


Her mommy said...

Haven't you learned anything from my ginger kids rants! Just say no to reds!

Angelia Sims said...

Ummm......., I bet that line usually works. Are you sure he wasn't picking up chicks for HER? HA.

jo said...

you should have told him, "I bet you have room for threesomes in those saggy britches!" seriously, that's craziness.

nina said...

wow! i was gonna try and be positive and say that sometimes looks aren't everything. the man i'm smitten with right now is definitely not my physical type...

but...woh! that just got weird! what is it with guys asking for threesomes really early on? i've had 2 first dates ask me that. thanks!

Kerri said...

Clearly I missed this one!
(I usually just click your newest post when it comes up on my dashboard)
Um, I don't even know what to say!
Steph, you deserve an award of some kind!
And Nina, youve have two first dates ask you that!?