Saturday, November 7, 2009

“Women wear bras for a variety of purposes, for support, to improve the shape of breasts, to reduce or to enlarge the perceived breast size, or to restrain
breast movement during an activity such as during
exercise, to enhance their cleavage, to facilitate nursing.
Most bras are designed to lift the breasts off the chest wall if they sag and to
restrain them from movement. Bra designers strive to produce a garment that is
both practical and attractive”

Being a not so well endowed female can present some problems when you aren’t comfortable with what you’re working with. Fortunately, there’s a bevy of brassieres to keep the boobs on the up and up, but the booty? Not so much out there for the derriere.

I’ve never been concerned with my backside; I’ve got a little bit of something everywhere there should be something. I’m content. Heck, I’m okay with non-padded brassieres; the downfall, constant nippage, no bueno. Standing at attention at all times isn’t cute. Either way, a padded brassiere is wholly common and in my opinion, completely necessary for overall presentation, but what I stumbled across this morning is a whole other story that got me thinking:

The Butt Booster

Now, it’s not like I’ve never seen such a pair of underpants, the thing is I put some thought into the concept and let me tell you, the cons definitely outweigh the pros.

Scenario #1: You get dressed up, you’re looking hot, you have a little booty now thanks to your “Butt Booster” and then…wedgie! How does that one work out? Can you imagine the back of your dress crumpled up on one side?

Scenario #2: Impromptu hook-up. So, you’ve roped a hot, handsome, hunk (with your luck he’s probably an ass man) and then he tries taking off your “Butt Booster”. Dead on the spot, I’d imagine, which leads to…

Scenario #3: During said impromptu hook-up, you dash out of the room to remove your “Butt Booster” so you don’t get busted, leaving said hot, handsome, hunk entirely confused about your Harry Houdini escapologist behavior; first the disappearance of you and then your reappearance without any booty.

Scenario #4: A serious case of swamp ass thanks to the padding in your “Butt Booster”.

Seriously, I don't know what to make of the Booster, but it does remind me of a song loved and long forgotten:


OmegaRadium said...

Women...the ultimate liars! They lie about their breasts, their looks, their hair color, and now even their butts! :P

Sevibabyyy said...

My older sister has one!!!!! She wears it under her jeans.

I totally forgot about it until now. Ily!

Steph said...

@Omeaga: See, that's why you have to quit messing around in the back at PT :p

@Sevi: Ooops, don't tell your sister....Does it really make much of a difference??

ScoMan said...

I don't know what swamp ass means. No that doesn't mean you explain it to me.. sometimes I think ignorance is bliss.

I'm sure most guys wouldn't care if the booty disappeared. But then, I don't know, maybe they would.

macgirl04 said...

HAHAHAHAHA I saw this on Tyra not too long ago, but I first heard about it when my friend was getting married last year and she saw one in Fredrick's of Hollywood. She sent me a picture and I couldn't believe what I saw. I think guys would def notice if you have booty, and then one day when you have sex together for the first time they don't have anything to grab... I'm just saying haha.

Mrs. Mary Mack said...

LMAO!! Swamp ass?!!