Wednesday, November 4, 2009

testing, 1-2-3 testing!

There’s a weird dynamic ‘round my workplace. I’ve seen and heard things and wonder if these situations are customary in the workplace. Of course, I expect a little explicit banter back and forth on occasion; we’re human, right? However, finding an empty box of condoms in your desk drawer, isn’t this a bit far? And, hearing how one employee likes to “bang prostitutes raw dog” isn’t quite the good morning greeting I anticipated in my adulthood. Either way, let me get on with it…
My co-worker and I have a tendency to share magazines with one another and this week I was given a Victoria’s Secret Christmas 2009 magazine. My bosses eyeball’s bulged when he caught a glimpse of the mag in my top drawer and that was all she wrote; he’s been in a tizzy since the magazine’s arrival on Monday. After skimming the pages, he suggested we make a purchase to wear to work. How completely inappropriate, right? We’re so jaded by his perv-y behavior and everything else going on around here it was no big deal. Supposedly, this idea of his is to bring in customers and is a ha-ha joke. In my opinion, it’s creepy as shit! I retorted he should have the men working in the warehouse wear the unmentionables to work since they have the most interaction with customers. Conversation ended.

Now, fast forward to today, Thursday, he decides he needs some time with the magazine, you know, to get a good look. Here I come, wandering back to my desk from God knows where, and he asks, “Have you ever considered modeling”, to which I said, “No”, and yes, I saw him flipping pages of the Vic’s mag. In turn, he tells me it seems the long and lean body type is preferred although he’s “not a fan, but then again never tried it”. I was violently barfing on the inside. Somehow, this turned into a conversation of his favorite body type; short. Conversely, most women he’s been with have been taller than him, in heels. He also shared how his wife doesn’t wear stilettos, but she does have a few pairs of heels. Not only does his wife have shoes, like most women, she has really large feet, he tells me. In fact, she has feet so large he can wear her shoes! My mind raced to the character Peggy Hill from the TV show King of the Hill. So not only am I laughing hysterically at the thought of my boss’ wife being Peggy Hill, I’m also imagining my boss strutting around his house in heels.
Did I really need to know/picture this? I'll never see my boss in the same way ;)

6 comments:

OmegaRadium said...

Wow, someone may need to take a trip to HR and learn some workplace etiquette on sexual harassment. :P

"Yo soy Peggy Hill, Arrrrrriba!"

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

It was a good comeback to mention maybe the guys should wear them since they have more customer interactions than you girls do. hehehehe. maybe he could buy one of the victoria's secret stuff for his wifey? He does seem a bit creepy doesn't he? Just stay as far away from him as possible and discuss stuff that are work related only.

ScoMan said...

I don't think I've ever had any of the above conversations in the workplace. Nor have I ever found a box of condoms in my draw. I'm not sure how things work in America but over here most of that just wouldn't fly.

I was wondering how Peggy Hill worked into things, and then laughed when it got there haha.

I'm sure a bunch of warehouse workers in their undies would be a great drive to increase customers.

elsh said...

@Omega: Sadly, we have no HR lol It's to the point where we just have to laugh at how ridic the whole situation is.

@Mel: I can only assume his wife isn't into what he's into...

@Scoman: Oh, if you could only see the warehouse men! I know this behavior doesn't fly in 99.9% of work environments. We're always wondering what will happen next.

Latia said...

Wow, your boss just doesn't seem to know the boundaries, but what can you do right now, but laugh it off. If he wants you gals to wear some Vicki Secrets then he has to join the party, only fair, right? I bet he would bring in loads of customers.

Steph said...

@Latia:Poor sap doesnt know when to quit!