Online, I see
ads about getting “ripped in four weeks” and am outright amazed and feverishly plotting my debut onto the dating scene, which I will now have to tack on an additional month. I graciously thank the Lord for my patience.
These days, who needs
Rohypnol to get a date!? Here’s the real deal, step-by-step:
- Find member of desired sex, meeting personality & height qualifications- looks inconsequential.
- Chat up & win over with your absolute charm.
- Initiate date.
- Borrow Voodoo books from local library and/or learn hypnotism.
- Begin slipping herbs into beverages and/or foods.
- Keep using Voodoo/hypnotism for weeks 1 & 2.
- Slowly introduce relationship to friends & family by mid-week 3.
- Totally infatuated “RIPPED” arm candy by week 4.
3 comments:
*note to self: Don't eat food cooked by a woman I wouldn't want to find myself inexplicabbly married to one day.* :P
See now there's the problem.
I was using this old "Snake Charmer" guide when all the while I was after Voodoo. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
@JJ and Scott: Now you know what to watch for! Seriously, though...the ridiculousness of advertising. I wanna know what ppl really fall for these wonder products.
Post a Comment