Fan of Not the Oxygen on Facebook?/ St. Pat's

If you’re a fan of my blog on Facebook then you already have a general idea of what’s going down in StephLand regarding the date and the mid-week holiday.

A second date has yet to pan out with the most recent Tuesday night guy. I appreciate all the crossing y’all did, but clearly you didn’t cross good enough.

No, I shouldn’t be ugly to you, friends. Y’all are great, great people who really know what’s up. Again, thanks for your help. It’s not you’re fault this guy sucks at making smart decisions.

I always say, "Never trust a guy in white sneakers", but I must also add "Never trust a guy with a faux hawk" to my list as well. Seriously, ladies!

Wednesday night, St. Pat’s Day, I went to a local bar, however not the local bar intended because they were charging cover and babes are broke these days.

St. Pat, St. Pat, you aren’t much of a Saint...You made me stay up late boozing, which resulted in a case of bubble guts in the morning. That was so not nice! You also sought out a handful of semi-English speaking men to follow my friends and me around the bar, totally messing up what little game I do have. Wait, I don’t like bar men. Either way, the game was screwed thanks to these guys.

Had fun though!

Ok, one last thing. I had, had, had to add this youtube video. I'm such a child.

Cross 'Em

I tried to withhold information for fear of jinxing myself. We all know I don’t have the Luck (of the Irish) when it comes to finding a suitable suitor to rope. I’m diffident about this revelation, guys, I really am.

Ok, I’ll shut up already and break the news; I went on a date. I know you’re thinking, “Big deal, what else is new?”, but let me say what’s new is I’ve run across another one I’d like to see again. That’s why there's such an immense amount of fear in sharing this. It’s very rare I admit interest, makes me feel entirely too vulnerable.

I’ve got heaps of questions buzzing through my head:
Will he call?
Does he want to see me again?
Was I enough of myself to charm the pants off of him?
What are this guy’s intentions?
Is he going to turn into a rude asshole like The Short Russian a.k.a Hot Lips?
Could I really date a guy with brown eyes?
When is he going to call me?
Is this going to be like the Crush Not Reciprocated?
Will he hang out with me another time, get wasted, try to mug down in public while talking in pout-y, baby voices, and then tell me about his prior experience with three-somes and ask me to put my hand on ‘it’?
Did he call me yet!? (yes, I realize it's mid-day Wednesday :P )

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Quick Run Down of SB 2010

Heavens to Betsy, I’ve got some new friends and am truly excited about our budding relationship!

AND

A few men folk around the place; Unheard of and magnificent considering I spend so much time blogging about men!

Thank you and welcome.

Now, let’s get down to biz.

I’m on Spring Break and it flippin’ blows! I should be happy for a break and don’t mean to bitch, but at 28 it’s not like I’ve got a friends rallying to hang out during the day. I mean, really, they’re respectable adults with jobs. I will have to rework the Spring Break attitude for next year.

To break up the monotony of the day I head to the dollar movie theater, but found the line incredibly long and snaking. What else was I to do other than drive to Dallas for nachos at Tin Star, and more importantly a little…retail therapy? The shopping wasn’t consciously planned, y’all. Stuff happens.

I went to Urban Outfitters because I love their dresses. Oh shit, this is where I lose the fellas…dang! Quick and painless, I promise.

I bought a rad Aries necklace. See, astrological necklaces are a dime a dozen, but I found this particular piece oh so awesome because it has the constellation…SCORE!



Then, I was on a roll. I went to another Urban Outfitters about 2 miles away. Guess what happened?

FYI: Your friend Steph has a thing for purple these days and an undying love for strapless dresses and again, kickball is cancelled because it love to rain in Texas on Tuesdays..


Okay, the pics aren't great, but I never claimed to be a photographer :P

Conclusion of Date# .1

Date #2 spawned Date# .1 Too bad I didn’t know it was the freaking Devil’s spawn!

During the little brother’s birthday party, I was receiving texts from, uh, let’s call him Hot Lips :
“Hey there, just got off. At Target. Long day…What’s up?”

“Lemme know if u wanna drop by during the week”

Which all this later turned into, “Why don’t you come over today?”

I hesitated, thinking this wasn’t such a great idea, but boredom got the best of me after the party. I decided I’d go ahead go over and then we could go out.

We talked on the phone, he sent a text with his address and then I was on my way.

Now, mind you this address didn’t include an apartment name or number. This information is somewhat key. He also lives in a city I do not frequent, nor am I familiar with.

I get to his exit, head north on the toll road, make all the proper turns and see a complex I assume is his.

I ring him up:

“What’s the name of your apartments?”
“They’re called Blah, Blah, Blah.”
“Oh, okay, I’m here. Do you live in the 1st or 2nd building?”
“There’s only one building.” –there were totally TWO buildings!
“Are you near *some landmark*?”
“No, what’s a *some landmark*?”
“A hotel.”
“No, I only see a Hampton Inn.”
“Oh, wait, here is it is. Can you come down and meet me?”
“No, just park by the *some landmark*”

At this point I become annoyed because I think it’s only decent to walk down and meet a sista, right? I mean, really! ...Don’t live there, never been there, have no idea where I am, why the fuck not!?

I hang up, but only after first getting his apartment number and more directions which include me walking up stairs.

I sit in the car, take a deep breath, trying to chill out a little.

I walk into the apartment building and see door after door, no elevator, no stairs. What in the world…

I go into another entrance, seeing the exact same set up. At this point, I walk back to my car, ready to say the heck with it and head back home. Forty stinking minutes back home!

I call one last time to say I’ve gone inside and can’t find where I’m going, to which I get a totally condescending reply, and this is where I get hood. Remember, I told you I got hood?

Okay, so I really wasn’t really all that hood, but I frankly let him know what I thought of him, his lack of manners in the situation, and how him walking down a flight of stairs wouldn’t bring him to his death. Then, he tried to get kind, asking where exactly I was and I told the son of a bitch I was already on the highway, heading home.

No more Hot Lips.

I figure if he was talking to me in the manner he did, his funky little attitude would only get worse. I’m truly thankful I never made it into his front door.

Guess there was a reason I felt the hesitation.

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Little Brother's Birthday.

My brother was born 3/14/86 thus it made sense we celebrate! His fiancee set up the party, and it was a really good time. I kept asking they turn the tunes back on, but the men folk remained interested in video gaming. I mostly sat around gabbing in my spandex.

The blender started up, and mudslides were made. Somehow requesting just a little bit literally means you're going to get a teeny weeny bit- My mistake!
What the heck, yeah?

Terry (the birthday boy), Moi, and Alexei, the giant baby of the family.


One of the brother's 3 dogs, Mocha, was definitely in a celebratory mood.

This is my youngest cousin, which reminds me I forgot to post his birthday pics. His party was a real doozy. Not only was it his birthday, it was my coming out party although I'm totally non-lesbo.
Me attempting a serious glare at my other cousin...

The older cousin I was glaring at, with his glasses like a grandpa.

Terribly excited about my newest brothers, or rather brother-in-laws is what I think you call them.
This burger is the mystery burger. Someone assembled it, took a bite, left it and then wouldn't claim it, but we all know the culprit. *This all went down before Date# .1

The Dating Winds Down

This past week I averaged about 2.1 dates.

Date #1
He’s new to the area. We’ve been corresponding for a few weeks and finally met. Like usual, there were no special sparks working me into a tizzy. In fact, he was shorter than advertised with a round, bald spot smack in the middle of the back of his head. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have my pitfalls as well, especially since I quit taking my birth control and have little pimples sporadically sprouting. I’m merely emphasizing the lack of attraction I felt for this guy. And, Lord knows, I’m totally sick of guys misrepresenting their height, unless I’m like 5’9 and have no idea and I’m the one exaggerating my size.

Needless to say, another no go, but hey(!) there weren’t any weird revelations or unwanted advances, so I must say the meeting went well.

Date #2
Another Dallas newbie and shorty, but at least I wasn’t taller this time around. I was way more casually dressed than he, but oh well; I was suckered by his attractiveness. Initially the conversation was like pulling teeth. He wasn’t divulging much and for Pete’s sake a girl needs something to work with in order to make conversation. I took a little pity because he did seem incredibly nervous.

After awhile the mood lightened and all was okay. The date ended and I respectfully went home after a hot lip lock to get ready for another date which didn’t happen because I got a terrible sinus headache on my way home. Meh.

Oh, and this one also followed up with the message that goes a long way, like the prior week’s #4.

Date #.1
You’re wondering what’s up with the .1, right? I had to cut things short. I’ll tell you later. I’m sure you can imagine things were fairly fucked.

Say Your Prayers!

March 9, 2010

Dear Friend,

I know I’ve said this before, but it’s entirely heartfelt; I miss you and I’m sorry. Life has been crazy. 2010 has been a nut fest. Amongst the unemployment, or rather free employment, lethargy, senioritis, dating disasters, moving in with The Moms, and overall burn out, our relationship has suffered. I still love you. I really do. I still creep around your place with a fitful eye.

In a nutshell, I’ve lost my mojo.

Do you, my friend, have any idea how I can reinvigorate the mojo? I so desire to come back to you and be what we once were, when times were good between us.

However, there is one small problem in fixing our problem. See, I’ve piled on yet another situation to compound things. Yes, one more thing to wear my ass down. Do you want to know what the something is, the yet another that’s coming between us?

Remember back when we were meeting up at another address? There was a childhood activity I longed to be a part of, but was unable due to scheduling. Welp, friend, time has finally presented itself.

Yes, it’s true. I will be partaking in a bit of kickball on Tuesday nights. The season officially starts next week with a pick-up game going down this Tuesday.

Please tell me we can work around this minor speed bump, right?


Love You,
Steph

Date #4 of the Week

I came home from Saturday night’s date, kicked back with my What A Burger taquitos and chatted up ScoMan on Facebook. After telling him how my night went down, he said something along the lines of he’s happy for me as a friend, but bored as a reader, so let me warn you, this may be boring.

Dating 4 different dudes in a week is exhausting.

I was somewhat excited to go out with this guy. He looked like Gym (yes, another made up name. One of The Moms came up with the moniker), only taller. Lord, I love men around my height, but the option of heels is always nice to have which isn’t quite possible if he’s 5’7 or 5’8. It seems like there’s always some sort of trade off; either the man is a total hot bod with a receding hairline or has a full, thick head of hair and a less than amazing body. Why can’t I find a happy medium!? Anyway, I’m losing you; let me get back to it.

Ok yeah, he’s cute and super, duper flipping polite. I was completely prepared for the worst, had my wall up and he ending up being a nice guy. Totally has his date etiquette in order. What the hell, right? Talked a whole lot, he actually rang me, instead of texting everything, opened doors, gave his sweater, walked on the proper side of me, didn’t attempt to ram his tongue down my throat/“mug down”, and here’s the kicker. Get ready, Friends…He sent a text asking if I made it home o.k.

The text did it for me; SOLD!

Seriously, I didn’t know how to act. Then, I felt kind of f’ed up because I’m thinking how I’ve been looking forward to a normal, decent date and then BANG! it happens and I become a clueless, silent, mess of a nerd.

I’ve become incredibly accustomed to handling myself in socially awkward situations. Isn’t this a sad state of affairs!? I gotta tell y’all, I’m tired.

P.S.

I'm not counting on any second dates with this one.

And, we watched Alice in Wonderland. I say, not

the greatest of movies, but visually awesome.

Got the image from Google.com

Date #3 of the Week.

Another to the point post; a copied & pasted Facebook Messenger convo. Here's a quick rundown of the date:

Stephanie
date...a wash
clearly im staying in town

16:04 C

yes i see
so bad date huh

16:04Stephanie
it didnt start that way
we met uptown for drinks. handsome guy. attorney, traveler, seemed like he's
holding things down, good conversation, fun flirtation.....
he got WASTED!
starts telling me how cute i am in some weird baby voice and trying to mug down on the patio

16:05 C

whats wrong with that?

Stephanie
uh the whole last part is whats wrong

16:06 C

sounds nice to me

16:06Stephanie
shut up

16:07 C

just date him an encourage him not to drink

Stephanie
come to find out he brought his own Solo cup filled with vodka and tea, left it outside and wouldnt leave the bar without it

16:07 C
classy
you know how to pick em

...Wow, Really? JML

Let's make a long story short...some of you may be pressed for time.



A very cute friend of mine has recently joined the Match.com world. We were comparing/suggesting prospects via Facebook chat. Some were serious, and others were more like, "Hey this guy awkwardly holding his cat would be great for you".



The thing with clicking profiles on Match.com is people know you've browsed them. One of my "ha, ha suggestions" struck last night with the following message:

Subject: Like a Snuggie, Except More Fleshy
Damn it, you look like a lot of fun. Why do you have to be all the way over there?

Sap.

"Either way, it happens to the best of us. I think that we may be a lot alike in the "avoiding drama at all costs" area and then when you have a sudden attack of "gangster-ness" you immediately regret it and think, why am I buying into this mess."

Ok, y'all...

I got this message earlier from a sweet, sugar pie who will remain nameless, and must say, totally sums up how things were Monday. Thank you, Friend :) Just when I complain about dramatic mess, I get a little of my own. Sux Delux, yet reminds me of the avoidance factor.

Here it is, Wednesday, and I'm feeling mostly awesome; I'm completely in love with my new, sparkly, pewter Madden sandles, want to tongue kiss the IRS, and had 2 somewhat successful dates this week & am looking forward to a few more this week.

It's heaps better to focus on positive, let the small stuff slide, and try your damnedest to keep a smile on your face, even if it's breaking out as a result of not refilling your birth control pills. fucking hormones.

yield.

....really...

I don’t expect all to subscribe to my personal set of ethics, but god damn!

*Note:

It's always best, in the heat of the moment, to think prior to acting...just saying 'cause you might send a Facebook message you can't take back and then whatcha gonna do? :/

Why Me?

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"How old is he? Does he have a cute butt?"

These words were spoken by my recently turned 14 year old cousin upon hearing I had a date last night. Odd.

He is 31 and I wasn’t even concerned with his butt. Okay, I did take a quick peek and welp…nada. Jeepers, cousin’s question provided a great pseudonym for this most recent internet dating victim; Saggy Britches!

Fuck. (Pardon the French)

I will start by describing this date by saying the fella is photogenic, in person, not so much; a little too red headed, pale, and fashion challenged. I can’t date another fashionably challenged man. God help me!? I have my hot mess moments, but nuh uh, not again.

For all intents and purposes, he’s a likeable guy, just not romantically/physically my type. I did get some awesome cheese fries out of the deal and decent conversation. The night wasn’t a total wash.

Here’s the doozy though, the good stuff. The-OMG-why’d-you-just-tell-me-that-but-thanks-for- telling-me-that moment.

Let me back up, paint you a picture.

While talking and what not, a woman approaches, introduces herself to me and proceeds to talk to Saggy Britches for awhile. No big deal. She leaves and he tells me they used to date, still no big deal. The big deal came a tad later.

During the course of conversation The Moms come up and naturally, he asked the typical male question to which I answered how interacting with The Vagina makes me queasy, etc. He told me how the woman I’d just met that he used to date likes the ladies. Still, no big deal.

The doozy came when he said something along the lines of, “Yeah, So & So likes to fuck chicks” and how they had three-somes throughout their relationship.

The End!

Smile

Interactive Thursday...That Means You!

*Back Story*This is a msg. exchange via Facebook. There’s a long standing drama I have no part of, want no part in, and don't even discuss, but somehow my friend, “Pam” keeps trying to drag me into the mess. I want no part of this. I dodge dramatics at all costs, but I don’t know what to do with this woman. I mean seriously, at this age!? This is worse than the 4th graders I spend my days with. (BTW these names are bullshit)

I never post this sort of crap, it's just I'm at my wits end. I feel almost guilty and uncomfortable putting this out there, but gee whiz! Oh, and the msgs below came on the heels of my EX randomly calling me up to tell me he doesn't want to talk to me anymore out of "self preservation" and blah, blah, blah bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I can sort of understand his point, but really? I found the whole thing completely inappropriate.

So, here’s where the interactive part comes into play…what would you do?

Pam 08 February at 19:43
favor....i don't know if you are planning on attending george’s party on the 13th (or if you have even heard about it - its in the eve after my big bad b-day bbq) but i am not going (though i think i responded "yes" when drunk the other night). i just don't want the drama, which brings me to the favor.... if you are planning on going, could you please just not talk to me about it? especially that day? i know i bring up the joe/annie situation sometimes (when something notable happens), but ultimately i don't want to hear about it (especially on my b-day)...thanks bud.

Pam 25 February at 09:01
no drama, just honest communication...are you planning on associating with annie (outside of facebook?)...i ask for one reason only. if she is going to be at events you plan, i would want to know ahead of time (in the same way you might want to know if i invited you to a party and someone like...calvin...was going to be there)...No drama about it, i just wouldn't come. That is how tired of the drama i truly am. Well, that and she really did hurt me stephanie. I never said her girlfriend was charles manson - I only said the behavior was out of line. And annie spun it like I was insane and had made up some wild story. The whole thing was (and still is) very, very hurtful. I am "over it", but it is always going to hurt and that isn't drama, its just honesty. Anyway, I'd just like to know one way or the other so I can adjust accordingly (all that means is I'm not going to be anywhere she is).

Steph 25 February at 18:06
Nonsense. I wasn't even going to bother with a reply, like george's party, but here goes:

I've known you for about 10 years or so. I, for one, would never imagine you'd invite calvin to a party (or whatever) but if you did..I would imagine that YOU, as my FRIEND, would have enough RESPECT for ME that you would give me a HEADS UP.

I don't know what you think about me as a person. Clearly, not much.

On the upside, there are no worries, because I haven't planned any events, nor do I plan on planning any events. Furthermore, it's very rare you'd take my calls if there was such an event to attend, especially since you have a "screening process".

With that said, I think we're in the clear.

I could be wrong, but I'm just going to assume this is the drama you mentioned with Kent and Facebook yesterday. Whether it is or not, just for the record I have too much going on to worry myself with these sorts of issues. Please leave me out of these future discussions/communications because I will no longer respond to this sort of stuff.

Steph 25 February at 18:07
and if you're tired of drama, you shouldn't feed into it.

I'm just saying...

How I Forgot the Rhythm, but Remembered the Party!

Finally, Steph had another opp to get crunknificent!

I haven't had a chance to get my dance on since The N's birthday celebration, which was mid-January. Lordy, lordy, it sure is nice to get out and shake it every once in awhile. I will let the pictures speak for themselves, but let me preface this heavily pictured post by saying:

1. I'm totally sober in all pictures


2. Allergies and a runny nose don't slow me down


3. TX weather is indeed unpredictable and I accidentally overdressed


4. I generally do a G-rated strip tease style dance while on the floor, but being the lady I am, I went to the restroom to remove my tights


5. I have no idea who these guys are


6. It never fails. The geriatrics at the bar gravitate to me!

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