dressy

I love it. Absolutely love it. Dressing up is oh so fun and usually limited to Halloween, BUT thanks to this new gig I have the option to dress up quite a bit. There was one event, the 1st grade Trick-or-Treat, I didn't catch on cam (I was a clown) - bummer.

PBS's Arthur @ the Storybook Parade

It's 50s day at school....hope they don't make me drink outta the colored fountain

Halloween '11 as Captain Kiss-A-Lot (minus all the smooching)

Lasy year when I was MIA, I was also mime-ingit up

Hoping I can pull something outta my ear for Thanksgiving!

Jerk!

Awkwardly dancing to Calle Ocho or something of the like in my recently purchased UO dress, I felt a tug from the left. It was a man, a decent looking man pulling me across the dance floor.

Being so far from my friends, the awkwardness of my dance intensified. Yes, it intensified to the point of Watermelon Scene from Dirty Dancing, after Johnny teaches Frances AKA Baby to “dirty dance”, and then slips away leaving her looking quite asshole-ish.

Doing a campy dance, I yell over the music, trying to slip away, “Uh, don’t wanna dance anymore.”

“I’ll show you how to dance to this kinda music!” he says and the next thing I know, the man bends down, grabs me by the back of the knees and lifts me from the ground.

Airborne and holding on to this creature for dear life, he began to shake me up and down like ketchup in a bottle that won’t budge.

All the while, I was screaming at the top of my lungs, grappling to keep my short dress down to avoid exposure. The situation left me with my right arm desperately holding onto his neck while the other hand was twisted behind me shielding my va-jay.

Thank God I wore large, full coverage underpants!

Finally, he relented. I tried making a hurried escape while ensuring the bottom of my dress was lying flat and this is when I had to do a double take.

As if the situation hadn’t been ghastly enough, I looked down and saw nipples. Yes, my very own boobs on full display in da club.

*And, this is why I always say, "do not dance with strange men in clubs & especially don't do any grinding and booty shaking...unless you want to be fondled & feel an unknown boner poking you- and trust me, times are never that tough ladies and maybe gentlemen dancing with gentlemen"

The Dirty Thirty

My social calendar took a plunge when I moved home with Mom. No, not because everyone suddenly decided I’m a major lame ass and loser for living at home, several factors fell into play keeping me home; the comforts of Mom, sickness, laziness, sleepiness and work. Last night was a different story; there was finally a good dose of partying it up with friends in a surprise celebration for The N’s 30th birthday!

We met at the infamous Rainbow Lounge in Ft. Worth, a local bar catering to the gays. The N got to be center of attention on the dance floor, as she received multiple lap dances from females and males alike. All sorts of vag and penis in the face, pants unfastened with teeth, spinning, gyrating, vibrating, dry humping, basically the whole kit and caboodle. Lucky! I made a video with my cam and it’s pretty bad, but if you turn off your sound and be patient, you can see what I’m talking about:



Now, let’s get down to biznas… Having shared what I dancing fool I am a dance video has been requested multiple times. Well friends, I’ve finally come through. In this vid, I’m standing around a cluster of friends who can’t seem to make it to the dance floor. BOO! on you party poopers! Again, not the greatest of videos, but here’s a tiny glimpse of the terribleness.

Me & The Birthday Babe

God only knows what this is about.

Some fancy, slick moves.

"I have no control over me belt or my leg!", was what I was yelling after I probably made some little fella uncomfortable. I later apologized for being so fresh, but I wouldn't have gotten so fresh if he wasn't looking as uncomfortable as he did. I refuse to take full responsibility for my actions.

I'm like a little devil on his shoulder...Def looking mischievous

This is the whole pants being undone. Thank goodness The N was wearing underpants!

Woot Woot!

I have a thing for puny gays. We made some friendlies.

The lot.

Yeah, nonsmoking Steph was puffing the cigs. Ugh, did I feel like a giant heap of shit this morning when I woke up! At least it wasn't crack or something...Hopefully tonight will be equally as fun & I wish you all a good weekend, too!

Don't forget I'm taking love horrors...vlogs, poems, artwork, stories or whatever you got to give! Viva La Valentine :) send to nottheoxygen@gmail.com

And Like It?

I saw this bubble (Tues.) & immediately realized these should be my words. I'm such the subconscious sabotage-er!

And then, I saw this quote (Wed.) after a water cooler discussion:

"I got involved with someone I never expected to get involved with, and
it was that kind of awakening...I never fought it
because it was like, 'Oh, I understand why I had the issues I had early in
life.' I had a great deal of difficulty connecting with men in
relationships." -Meredith Baxter

Meredith caused me to really question my sexuality. I wondered if I'm repressing some hidden desire, depriving myself of hot lesbo action. I never had the opportunity to kiss a girl and like it. Thus, time was spent staring off into space imaging things women to do one another in a sexual situation, and well, there's no rush to change teams.

Yeah, I've had a tendency to sabotage...

P.S.

I loved Family Ties as a child and as an adult. You, too, can watch full episodes @ http://www.cbs.com/classics/family_ties/ **Thank you Lord, Jesus! Viva La Family Ties!**

Have You Been Looking for Me?

I know I have!

Facebook status update 11/13/09:
ending a relationship, becoming a little sister, returning to the folks’ house, quitting the only job I’ve held for a substantial length of time, finishing up a decade of ed. and trying to beat a dreadfully sore throat in the past 1.5 months has been...exhausting.

At least I'm no longer sick.

I've been trying so, so hard to adjust to all these changes while finishing out this semester. I'm feeling very unsettled and unlike myself. I'm confused. I don't like admitting this either.

2009 has been a doozy and I'm glad there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I've said before I'm not one for resolutions and won't be making any for the new year; I'm making resolutions for the heck of it...just because it's such a topsy turvy time and I ought to get it together! I'm being ridic...

I haven't even tried to unpack since I moved over Thanksgiving break. I barely have room to walk through my bedroom nor can I find numerous articles of clothing. This morning, I had to run out to the garage to find shoes to match my outfit. It's a fright, but take a peek anyway: Wow, now this is embarassing and pathetic! Wonder what the cable guy will think when he stops by tomorrow...Perhaps, he'll think this chick belongs on Hoarders, or something. On the upside, my parents pointed out I will have a man in my room! And, that's totally a joke- doubt the AT&T cable man is going to be my type and Lord knows I won't be his type.

Speaking of men and Facebook statuses, I started a frenzy the other day by changing my status to "in a complicated relationship", which people "liked" and also messaged me to find out who I'm dating these days. Since when is a complicated relationship something to like?

Here's why my relationship is complicated:
I live with my mothers who packs my lunch, I'm near 30 and soon to be unemployed. Being a horrible catch is pretty fucking complicated! Luckily, I have a best friend who watches out for me. It's too bad she's looking out for my best interest on CraigsList.com.

Christmas Season is almost upon us & we all know about those ever popular(?) "Office Parties". You know. The one's where we're basically forced to attend. The ones where you make that ever important impression on your Boss and his wife? Don't underestimate the importance of your presence, as well as your appearance at these functions. If you intend to even be considered for that new position in the up coming year, you NEED to be there. AND you need to arrive with a great date. There's no two ways around it ladies. Well let's say you want to go, BUT not alone! Not this year. No way! Not again.

What will you do? Who will YOU call? That's right! The guy on CNN . . . . . . . . . "RENT-a-GENT" ! ! ! !

Imagine arriving with THIS great-looking guy. Being able to converse all night long on countless topics, in the language YOU'D perfer. Being able to drink as much as you'd like and never having to worry about driving away so PLASTERED only to wake up in a cold, over-lit, uncomfortable jail cell because some Cop decided you were weaving all over #635.

PLEASE contact me! I can assist you ladies. The situation is NOT hopeless! Not THIS year! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.YOUR-RENT-a-GENT.com . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Location: Texas
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1492335552

Stop This Flannel Trend At Once!

Waking up on a completely abnormal snowy Texas morn, I had to figure out what to wear, but the majority of my clothing remains haphazardly stuffed away in boxes limiting my options.

I picked out my favorite pair of dark Hudson’s, a once worn black, brown and blue-ish flannel shirt and my generic black Yeti boots. No, I don’t tuck them in either. I felt a bit awkward in this get up. I mostly hate collared, button up and polo style shirts, which is why I've only worn the shirt once; they make me feel masculine looking, especially with my 15 year old boy figure…the rack also seems to disappear in these shirts. Anyway, I walk into the living room where my little brother is watching some Asian looking cartoon and plant myself in front of him:

“Do I look like a lesbo in this outfit?”

“No, but you look like a lumber jack”

“Damn it! That means I look like a lesbo lumber jack”

“Some people like that look.”

“Yeah, then some big butch babe is going to see me and wanna turn me out. You know I’m easy to persuade.”
photo

It's late, but so what...I was moving.

Christmas before Halloween & Thanksgiving?

I was remembered by a random Asian couple...Here's 1/2 of the pair
In the words of my favorite gay, Christan Siriano, "Fierce"


That's what that is about
Asked for a pic & got more than I bargained for!

I spent the night chasing Asian lesbo's. I had good reason.

On a quest for the "Disco Stick"

Relatively tame Wild Things

I quit eons ago-How'd I get this cigarette in my hand!?

Christmas wasn't all that

Typical self portrait

A regular, old bad ass

Tried to use my duster as a "presto, change-o, be straight-o"- FAIL

The A Team tried changing orientation by pure force!

What the heck?

Amusing.

This fella is on of my 09 favs

The A Team hanging in your local gayborhood Kroger

The N acting up in my lonely, mostly empty, depressing apartment

Trying to sex up the Crocs. Maids need comfy shoes, right?