Thursday, January 14, 2010

Valentine, Valentine

Although I haven’t been blogging, I’ve continued to religiously think of Not the Oxygen and you, my friend! As you already may have figured out my relationship status is quite a sad one; I live with my mom, I’m technically unemployed and I’m just not dateable. So, to be a good sport and stay in the spirit of things, I’ve decided to blog about Valentine’s Day kind of stuff, like LOVE!!!

If you have a love horror story you’d like to contribute please, please share! When I say horror, I don’t mean I want to hear about abuse, divorce or traumatic events…I wanna know the good, juicy, embarrassing stuff, and the stories of unrequited love!

C’mon give it to me!

Oh, and here’s a great love poem, Mad Libs style, to get you into the groove of things

My Love
Your skin glows like the banana, blossoms sticky as the peony in the purest hope of spring.

My heart follows your trombone voice and leaps like a whale at the whisper of your name.

The evening floats in on a great pirate's parrot wing.I am comforted by your undershirt that I carry into the twilight of laundry basketbeams and hold next to my elbow.

I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of kool aid. As my lung falls from my trousers, it reminds me of your television. In the quiet, I listen for the last sneeze of the day.My heated ear leaps to my panty hose. I wait in the moonlight for your secret house plant so that we may creep as one, ear to ear, in search of the magnificient orange and mystical lamp of love.


That Gal Kiki said...

Does farting during sex count? I have a doozy.....

Grant said...

I think I may have something for you. I will email you a story.

Steph said...

@Grant & Kiki: Send me what you've got!

Arnetta Green said...

Aww, no physical abuse/divorce stories? Shucks! Oh well. Either way, I have a bunch of crazy dating tales for ya. My dating life was comedic genius.

Steph said...

@Arnetta: Hoping this means youre going to email me :D

Angelia said...

Juicy, happy love stories?
Like meeting a guy on Facebook through "Are you interested?" First "date/meet" being a Radiohead concert where we sat in traffic for HOURS. They end up engaged less than 2yrs later?

Or more like the kind where you see a guy for a week then he pops open a ring box, then says it's a joke, while your mind screams PSYCHO!

ScoMan said...

I'll see if I can think of something..

Bathwater said...

You are way to early you could totally be in love by V-day! If it is any consolation I do not plan on being with anyone on V-day either.

Not because I an undatable I know I am totally datable I just have not met anyone I want to date.

Steph said...

@Angelia: Uh, more like the 2nd kind :D

@Scoman: Get it together, friend!

@Bathwater: Too early!? No way. It's always good to be prepared ;)

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Thinking thinking...trying to remember if I've got any love horror stories. hehehehe. I'm sure I may have, after all I'm jinxed. =) How have you been sweetie? I hope you have a great weekend. =)