Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Love Horrors! Part I

After becoming single in late 2009, as you all know, I decided to jump into this online dating thing without reservations only to find a bunch of nonsensical messages in my inbox. Bummer.
With Valentine’s approach and having no luck in making a “love connection” of my own, I thought it would be a great, marvelous idea to hear the horrific, mortifying, and/or laugh out loud stories of others. Not only does misery love company, what use is living if you can’t get a good giggle going at your own expense? With that said…..

First up is our friend, Michelle @ Desultory Diversions!


A little background on me: I am inherently mistrustful of people, especially men on the internet. I Google the hell out of any guy I’m interested in before deciding to meet him in person, if it even gets that far!

I met a guy on a dating website a couple weeks after my ex and I broke up. At the time, I was more interested in random hookups than a relationship, but stating that brings creeps by the truckloads. One normal guy managed to slip in with the barrage of crazy in my inbox. He was nice, funny and cute so I responded... and visited my best friend, Google.

He'd put his AIM screen name in his profile, which was enough to get me started. My quick search brought up no flags, and he continued to be charming.

We decided to go out for dinner after work, which turned into him coming over for leftover sushi (yeah, I’m a cheap date). Date night: we ate, talked and fooled around.

My roommate got home just as he was leaving. Roomie and I discussed the date and reviewed his online persona together. We stumbled across a page I hadn't seen before, and a flag went up. Small flag, so I let it go... for a day.

I Re-Googled (is that a word yet?) the info I had and then Googled all the new stuff. I wound up with two subtly different sets of information. Rather than completely freak out, I asked him about it. I was totally upfront about my internet stalking and concerns it raised... which freaked him out.

Turns out he'd been seriously stalked by an ex. He'd purposely changed some of his information and deleted (or so he thought) certain profiles so she couldn't find him. My curiosity (crazy lack of trust, whatever) triggered his "run in the opposite direction quickly" instincts, while I was only trying to protect myself. He understood where I was coming from, but was still shaken (which I understood and respected). We put the breaks on the whole thing so he could sort through his shit....

I haven't heard from him since.

Moral of the story: Don't tell your dates about your Google addiction!

Ah, a socially awkward situation frightening off a memeber of the opposite sex, how familiar this is to me! Do you have a similar story? Who did you freak out? ....Please share,comment :)

16 comments:

OmegaRadium said...

I do my best to limit the amount of info available to folks trying to Google me. Various online handles, multiple e-mail addresses (work, business, play, etc.) and the fact that my REAL name is pretty common keeps me relatively free of red/yellow flags in my online world. :P

Steph said...

I wonder if my online-ers have found me on here? I haven't been as stealth as you ;)

michelle said...

woohoo first :) i hope that someone learns from my ridiculousness... i also google myself on a regular basis just in case there's some extra crazy floating around. otherwise, i don't put anything in the public forum that i wouldnt say to my mother. she's my standard of "too far" :p

michelle said...

ps - the comic is so perfect!

Steph said...

@Michelle: No,you know we never learn! In fact, today, I sent a socially awkward text message :/ Although I'm slightly mortified, I also wouldn't waste my time with someone who was not understanding of my kookiness. We've all got it in us :)

PS I scoured the net for an appropriate comic ha ha

Tania-Dreams2010 said...

ahahah I've done that a couple times, really it's too easy who wouldn't! :) The worst is google maps tho, like really ppl can actually see your house and maybe you too if you were standing out there ha! Love google!

ScoMan said...

If people google me they find a comment on some forum about elderly pornography.

IT'S NOT ME! IF IT WAS ME, WHY WOULD I USE MY REAL NAME! I'M NOT THAT STUPID! WHY DON'T...

Umm.. sorry...

S.I.F. said...

I looked the ex up on court docs once, and came up with all sorts of info on his divorce (I knew he was divorced, of course!) There was nothing there I didn't know, but I somehow felt so guilty for even looking that I confessed everything to him that night. He just laughed at me and asked if I'd found anything interesting! :)

S.I.F. said...

P.S. That's EXACTLY why I don't put my real name anywhere near my blog... I hate the idea of someone I've just met being able to find it; plus, I would like to reserve the right to be able to write about bad dates without fearing them finding it!

MKL said...

Moral of the story: Do tell. Because you need to know why he did what he did. And he has to understand you, too. So, if he can't take that, he's not the right one.

Steph said...

@Tania: Google maps...Guilty!

@Scoman: Elderly porn, Scott, seriously!? C'mon now :p

@SIF: Oooh, how do you do that?
You know, I'd be leary of anyone who was worried about me googling them...I'd wonder what they had to hide.

@MKL: Exactly!

Angelia Sims said...

I love horror dating stories. I must not be right. I really need to send you mine.

I was on plentyoffish for awhile. My GAWD! The craziness on there. :-)

There were a few that were okay. I think. But I suck at google searches. So who knows!

Amanda West said...

Lol.

My step-mother is a judge and any time me or my siblings would bring home a new girlfriend or boyfriend my step-mother would run them through her little background checky-thingy at work.

It was horrible. Thank God I'm married now.

Steph said...

@Amanda: Surely the background checks got annoying LOL! I'd be kind of interested in knowing though ;)

Congrats on the marriage! How long?

Bathwater said...

I think the moral of this story is to make sure you have all your ducks in a row before doing any internet dating :).

People are too smart you got to be smarter.

Signed Bathwater the 25 year old recluse millionaire.

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