down on the farm!

Sack lunches in hand, we boarded the school bus for a trip to the farm. Gosh, I don't miss the smell of a school bus, but it's fortunate we got the bus that smelled of booty instead of exhaust, we could've all died from inhalation or something (?)- I'm no doctor, who knows.

The farm was great! After we ate our lunches, we met up for an introduction which was followed by a hayride.The hayride was our mode of transportation throughout the farm. It was so lovely watching the excitement on the children's' faces. It's funny how you feel like your heart has expanded beyond the perimeters of your chest and you experience the joy of being Momma, although the kids are virtually strangers. I'm getting soft.

Our first stop was a three story tree house with slides and swings, a tiny village, a labrynth and some other stuff I don't know the names of. I did take a slide and screamed the whole way down!

When we were done playing, we hopped back onto the hayride for a tour of the farm and a stop at the Candy Cane Tree, where we all got a candy cane. Oh, and we also got to see the types of Christmas trees they grow for sale, jump in hay, roast marshmellows (a lot of the kids hadn't done this before) and pet goats and a donkey.






Check out this goats eyes!
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All in all, we had a really great time and I recommend this farm if you're in the DFW area, even if you don't have children! FUN TIMEs :o)

FLASHBACK Photo FRIDAY!

The weekend is here and gee whiz, am I thankful! My brain has been all sorts of screwed up this week. There must be something in the hot chocolate I've been drinking? With a mixed up head, I've had blog-block and thanks to a lovely reader looking for me on Friendster, I was reminded of this photo:

I do have some better pictures coming up this weekend, so look out! Thursday, I took a field trip with my fourth grade class and tonight (Friday), I'm going to an INTERNATIONAL STRIP OFF! teehee

Have a good weekend & stay outta trouble :o)

I Could Look Better :/

There I was sitting at my desk, surfing the web, fake rat in hand when some young sap walked into my office, confused about which door to enter. He began with some sort of spiel about Gold’s Gym, working out, trial memberships, blah, blah, blah. I told the fella, I wasn’t interested in a membership, but thanks. -You gotta give it to these door to door folks. This is something I could never do in a million years; I don’t have the fortitude. My tail would remain permanently fixed between my legs- THEN he started telling how I could look better and didn’t I want to look better!? “I already look good”, was my response. By the way, this jerk was wearing white dress shoes.

Ah, and this reminded of a situation that played out four or so years ago…with another Gold’s Gym person.

I was working another shitty customer service job, had recently called things off with a young man I had previously agreed to marry and for some reason decided I should date around, keeping an open mind. I hate dating.

There was this rumor going around at the time and for all I know could still be buzzing around; someone(s) claimed I have “commitment issues”. Yeah, Mom was in on it, too. Let me clarify things, not that justification is needed. I’m willing to bend and have a high tolerance, but I can only do/handle so much before I have to bounce. The committing isn’t the problem, it’s compatibility.

Anyway, like I was trying to say until I got side tracked by one of my hot button issues :)

There was this Gold’s Gym promo guy buzzing around my office and somehow, he suckered me into a date, although I’m not the biggest fan of red heads. Remember, I was being open-minded!
The putz didn’t even pick me up; instead, I met him at this house to watch a movie. Mind you, this was when I was still naïve in thinking watching a movie was, well, watching a movie. How was I supposed to know “watching a movie” translates into “you’re gonna come over and I’m going to ravage you like the hot piece of ass you are”? None of this went on, so let’s move on.

At his house, he proceeded to impress me with his H2O consumption. Yeah, one of those, “I drink 50 gallons of water a day, cook solely on the Foreman and don’t eat past 7 PM” dick heads. Needless to say, he had no Pepsi on hand.

To make a long story short, I spent the evening sitting on the most uncomfortable couch ever, watching a lousy movie, bottle of water in hand. This is was first and final date.

I am thankful this translation wasn't necessary for this one and there is no point to this story, except that I could look better....

SHAMELESS

Last weekend Dallas weather was beautiful and I had the opportunity to help a friend with a photography class she's taking. Here are the results:

Another girl, SW, did an amazing job with my curls and make-up. Kudos to her for her patience with my "things touching eye" quirk and lack of apparent enthusiasm at the results. I'm a simple gal, not used to all this fussiness :D

Not too bad, right?

http://www.aprylann.com/

http://www.facebook.com/#/aprylann?ref=ts

stupid cold, growing old

Thursday night's antics have left me basically bedridden. I have a terrible cold or something- I'm learning towards strep throat, throw in $1 drinks with the girls at an old haunt and you have trouble.

I started to feel a tad bit better yesterday and took advantage of the slightly improving health, but took it a little too far by breathing second hand smoke, trying to talk over blaring music and getting too little sleep. However, a night on the town was well worth it since I was getting stir crazy.

Last night has made me think
about growing older and possibly wiser. I have more fun inching closer to 30
than I ever did in my "prime". I'm much more at ease with myself, care less
about what others think and generally enjoy being me, imperfections, quirks and
all.

I get a kick out of watching the
younger crowd and it's dynamics, remembering how I was in my early 20's. Back
then, going out was just as imperative as a job. I was a slave to my cell phone,
fun and getting ready. Now, when I head out, it's purely about good times with
good people, not drinking and superficial interactions.

A How-To on Hooking a Hottie

Online, I see ads about getting “ripped in four weeks” and am outright amazed and feverishly plotting my debut onto the dating scene, which I will now have to tack on an additional month. I graciously thank the Lord for my patience.

These days, who needs Rohypnol to get a date!? Here’s the real deal, step-by-step:

• Find member of desired sex, meeting personality & height qualifications- looks inconsequential.


• Chat up & win over with your absolute charm.


• Initiate date.


• Borrow Voodoo books from local library and/or learn hypnotism.


• Begin slipping herbs into beverages and/or foods.


• Keep using Voodoo/hypnotism for weeks 1 & 2.


• Slowly introduce relationship to friends & family by mid-week 3.


• Totally infatuated “RIPPED” arm candy by week 4.

Kreativ Blogger

Look at what sweet, sweetie Mika gave me:Yeah, I know:) Keeping with tradition I MUST:

Tell 7 things that you don't already know about me.
Name 7 other blogs to receive this award.
Leave a comment on each of the blogs I nominated.
Thank the person who gave you the award.

1. I'm a lefty when I want to be.
2. I bite my lips & the inside of my mouth when I'm stressed out or nervous. I also secretly shop, but I'm not sure just how secret this is and feel terribly guilty.
3. I enjoy being alone, but need more attention than I let on and worry I'll be a spinster.
4. I want to perform in musicals.
5. I'm really excited to be a teacher and at the same time feel like I'm selling myself short.
6. I'm always planning hypothetical parties.
7. I love eating in bed.

I'm far too tired (and sick!) to deliver on the rest of my award obligations. Give me some time, please?

Thanks again for thinking about me, Mika :)

“Women wear bras for a variety of purposes, for support, to improve the shape of breasts, to reduce or to enlarge the perceived breast size, or to restrain
breast movement during an activity such as during exercise, to enhance their cleavage, to facilitate nursing.
Most bras are designed to lift the breasts off the chest wall if they sag and to
restrain them from movement. Bra designers strive to produce a garment that is
both practical and attractive”

Being a not so well endowed female can present some problems when you aren’t comfortable with what you’re working with. Fortunately, there’s a bevy of brassieres to keep the boobs on the up and up, but the booty? Not so much out there for the derriere.

I’ve never been concerned with my backside; I’ve got a little bit of something everywhere there should be something. I’m content. Heck, I’m okay with non-padded brassieres; the downfall, constant nippage, no bueno. Standing at attention at all times isn’t cute. Either way, a padded brassiere is wholly common and in my opinion, completely necessary for overall presentation, but what I stumbled across this morning is a whole other story that got me thinking:

The Butt Booster

Now, it’s not like I’ve never seen such a pair of underpants, the thing is I put some thought into the concept and let me tell you, the cons definitely outweigh the pros.

Scenario #1: You get dressed up, you’re looking hot, you have a little booty now thanks to your “Butt Booster” and then…wedgie! How does that one work out? Can you imagine the back of your dress crumpled up on one side?

Scenario #2: Impromptu hook-up. So, you’ve roped a hot, handsome, hunk (with your luck he’s probably an ass man) and then he tries taking off your “Butt Booster”. Dead on the spot, I’d imagine, which leads to…

Scenario #3: During said impromptu hook-up, you dash out of the room to remove your “Butt Booster” so you don’t get busted, leaving said hot, handsome, hunk entirely confused about your Harry Houdini escapologist behavior; first the disappearance of you and then your reappearance without any booty.


Scenario #4: A serious case of swamp ass thanks to the padding in your “Butt Booster”.


Seriously, I don't know what to make of the Booster, but it does remind me of a song loved and long forgotten:

It's late, but so what...I was moving.

Christmas before Halloween & Thanksgiving?

I was remembered by a random Asian couple...Here's 1/2 of the pair
In the words of my favorite gay, Christan Siriano, "Fierce"


That's what that is about
Asked for a pic & got more than I bargained for!

I spent the night chasing Asian lesbo's. I had good reason.

On a quest for the "Disco Stick"

Relatively tame Wild Things

I quit eons ago-How'd I get this cigarette in my hand!?

Christmas wasn't all that

Typical self portrait

A regular, old bad ass

Tried to use my duster as a "presto, change-o, be straight-o"- FAIL

The A Team tried changing orientation by pure force!

What the heck?

Amusing.

This fella is on of my 09 favs

The A Team hanging in your local gayborhood Kroger

The N acting up in my lonely, mostly empty, depressing apartment

Trying to sex up the Crocs. Maids need comfy shoes, right?

Cleveland Meeting-Oct 30 thru Nov. 3

I had heard this whole story of how I came to be, but had a hard time believing what I was told with so little evidence to support the story, but all was solidified when I located and then stood over my daddy’s grave.

This past weekend, I jetted north. For the first time in twenty eight years, I laid eyes on those I regarded as my phantom, older brother and sister. Never would I have imagined meeting them; I figured they were too far from reach, too caught up in their own lives and not the least bit concerned about me, that is, if they even knew I existed.

It’s a strange story, I know, still somewhat surreal to me. Here’s the back story:

I guess you could say my dad and I missed each other; he died March 10, 1981 and I was born April 5, 1981. My mom and he weren’t from the same city. I don’t believe he had any ties to the area from which I came. Apparently, he had a wife, a girlfriend and kids hours away and so, with his passing, my mother and I were left out of the loop, until now.

A shroud of unexpected serenity has come into my life just when things were beginning to get topsy-turvy. I’ve always wondered who I am, where I came from and which characteristics aren’t from my maternal side. Although I mostly repressed these thoughts, when I couldn’t shut them out, they were a hard pill to swallow.

It was amazing meeting them, spending time together and getting a glimpse into their lives. I can only hope they make it to Texas to see me in my environmentThe sibsNephewNephewNiece w/ boyfriendNiece